Are You Fearing Way Too Much?

Now, these words come from an individual who literally enjoys playing safe all the time. Or till this time at least. One of my bosses used to tell me that you don't achieve anything great out of life, until you beat a risk. I had my plans to take up a career abroad, but due to the restrictions in Visa regulations, most of the times it got canned. And, I could never take the risk of visiting the country, staying on my own, and then joining the expedition of job hunting. My thoughts were surrounded by multiple What Ifs. What if I run out of cash, what if I see no fruitful result? What if things don't materialise and countless such daunting thoughts. 

The result?

But I can say that I have grown mentally stronger to take up this risk, which can be brought into fruition soon. 

Facing My Fears

People close to me describe me as an ambitious and competent individual, who always has her way to everything. Yet in my mind I know that am SCARED. VERY SCARED. To fail. To fall. To lose.

Recently, I enrolled myself for a marathon, this run was special to me because I coaxed my friends to join in too, while they were reluctant. My friends had second thoughts because the run was scheduled on a Sunday (as most marathons are) and it would begin from 6 am. I was the one who enlisted the benefits of running on a Sunday, citing reasons such as fresh air, good breakfast post run, less traffic. They gave in ultimately. 

After registering ourselves, the subject of running in the marathon always creeped in. We would mention about our running shoes, our airpods, stock of juices and beverages. We even tallied our jogging schedules together, so that there is no problem on the day of run…

One such day while I just completed my second repetition, suddenly and surprisingly I fell on my face. The fall left me with an injured knee, and all I could see was blood. I went home thinking it to be a minor accident, and ignored it. Mum did the initial first aid and I set off for work, dismissing it again as a minimal injury. 

I could feel the brunt and the inevitable pain once the day approached, and gradually was writhing in pain. Once I was back home, I told my doctor about the marathon and how desperately I wanted to attend it. He gave me countless assurances and asked me to be optimistic. I did. Followed his instructions, but my knee didn't seem to oblige. I flunked. Couldn't run the marathon, while my friends gave me minute descriptions of the running track, people running, the fresh air! I listened helplessly back home with my injured knee!

Nothing Changed Literally 

Yes, for a few moments, I did feel bad about not running, but slowly realised that my life didn't end because of it. The sun had risen, mom made breakfast, maid came on time, the evening also set in on time. Nothing really changed. Just that my fear had gone. At least it had subsided. 

I realised that life literally breaks your heart a lot of times, you feel miserable and pathetic. Shattered. But, every fall teaches you a lesson. You become purer, stronger and unbreakable.

So, what fear are you afraid to encounter?