Dear LinkedIn, How Can You Say That Celebrating Is The Same As Applauding?

Hello LinkedIn! Hope you are doing good connecting people. By the time you read this letter, you must be busy paving the way for networking among potential suitors. I don't mind that actually. 

In fact, I take immense pride and a satisfying nutriment in your voracious capacity of connecting people. 

By Jove, you must be aware of my innate admiration for you till now. Well, you have long surpassed my affections for Instagram and even Twitter. In this era of infidelity, Insta coaxes me everyday by adding new filters, but I didn't budge. Yeah, you can reserve the gratitude for later. 

My dedication towards you reaches new boundaries every other day. Now, not half an hour passes by, without me casting a glance at you… In fact, my curious bones get a spark everytime anyone shares an anecdote. 

Now that there is this special thing brewing between us, it's no secret as to how much of a Grammar Nazi I am. It's this erratic behavior that couldn't ignore this minor reaction of yours….

Why do you perceive applauding as the same as celebrating? If I am applauding on a particular post, where someone is doing, say a 50 pull ups, I don't want to celebrate it! Because in this entire life, Yours Truly has done only 5 pull ups max. Why would I celebrate someone else's' pull ups then, Dear LinkedIn?

I applaud posts where someone having a red velvet mousse boasts of having a high metabolism rate. While I am counting my calories every time I drink water!

Dear LinkedIn, I can applaud the fact that they have a high metabolism rate, and that they can eat anything and get away with it, but my dear LinkedIn yours truly isn't really blessed with a high metabolism rate. I have to sweat out every calorie intake!

Can you fathom my pain? Can you gauge how helpless I sound now, dear LinkedIn?

And, you would still call my applauding as celebrating?