"Please Pardon My Recalcitrance"

These words literally felt like magic and were relatable to an acrimonious level when Dr. Shashi Tharoor first mentioned about it. Precisely what had caught the eye (and ear) was the mention of parents insisting on speaking English with the visit of each relative. Yet, those days, 'recalcitrance' felt like too far fetched a word, and Yours Truly would often take refuge in non verbal expressions by making various faces, sometimes even looking up to visiting the washroom as a saviour, as scrolling down the screen, weren't an option those days; perhaps mobile phones were still in the incubator then.

Also, mention may be made of those times when everytime I longed to open my mouth, I was told to be and remain reserved; often citing a reference to my friends and cousins, stating that they don't blabber so much when elders are around. Yet, in my defence I'd say that I had some robust information that was both entertaining and informative. If it was a good day, then someone would say that "Okay, let the poor child speak". Quite exuberantly, I'd blurt out that Amir Khan had signed his next film with Yash Raj, and also that Salman Khan had been given a clean chit, owing to all his atrocious acts.  

What followed were mere glances at each other and gradually zeroing down to me being diabolical… Yet, I couldn't really fathom the folly out here, in fact I held the thought that my entire family would be congratulating me for possessing such valuable information about both Amir and Salman! 

Yet, the consequence was that I had to give an undertaking (not in a physical form, but majorly by word of mouth) that I wouldn't speak, unless absolutely necessary, else my family would have no other option but to shun me entirely from family dinners entirely, or even worse, make me drink neem juice every morning as a punishment of my excessive talking…

Now, nothing in this world could compel me to let go of the family dinners, as the person sitting next to my granddad (which was me most of the times) would often get half a piece of fish from him, and sometimes even the egg yolks. So, there was literally no way I was letting that go, and nor could I indulge in ruining my early mornings with neem juice. 

Hence, Amir and Salman Khans stayed with me, and didn't go out any further. Life moved on, and Amir and Salman gradually emancipated to Tom Hardy and Cillian Murphy.

Now, in my late twenties, when at home, I mostly take to books, or try journaling on my phone, mom tells me that I must speak my heart out and just talk, rather than just staying aloof and to myself. 

Oh! What a paradox! Only if humans were immortal and great fish curries tasted the same after twenty years. I am ready to make an exception, and get back to my original self, yet this time, only if I am promised the whole egg with the fish curry...