My New Year Resolution 2021

A famous saying that intrigued me since childhood was, “Promises are made to be broken”, and now as I sit to write this piece, I figure that the same could be attached to resolutions as well. Now, I wouldn’t have an idea of the nature of others’ dynamic with New Year resolutions, yet when things come to myself, I wouldn’t have any shame conceding that my equation with these resolutions has always been rocky. 

Even though, I am saying this publicly now, after all my years of permutations and combinations, seems like I had discovered this rocky path long back in school. Gifting greetings cards and discussing resolutions used to be in vogue those days, and I’d be regularly participating in the same as well. While most of my classmates and peers would highlight ambitions like scoring 90 and above in finals, learning a foreign language, and being physically fit, mine would be mostly restricted to waking up early in the morning (5.30 am to start off with), and sometimes it’d be stretching towards being acquainted with Bengali literature, and plan on reading at least three pages from a hefty Bengali novel. 

As the time approached, and the clock ticked to 5.30 am and although waking up early on a chilly winter morning seemed torturous, yet the laziness would be deserted for the time being. Regarding the Bengali novels, my mom suggested that I go with Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay, and the one that she suggested was one amongst his notable works, ‘Srikanta’. Initially daunted with the volume of the book, I did reassure my vulnerable self that it’s “Now or never”, and decided to respect my equally vulnerable motivation of the new year. 

Days passed by, and the pressure from school started pouring in, and ICSE textbooks seemed to be more demanding than Sarat Chandra. Increasingly, there was this fierce competition that mostly appeared out of thin air, where more than focussing on our studies, we’d be more interested in learning as to what my rivals would be upto. And, then all sorts of calculations would start pouring in, usually taking the direction of being reckless and quite oblivious to my own learning. Seemed that the virtual track for the rat race was all decked up, and I had to come out with flying colours. Not realising that even if I did turn out to be victorious in the rate race, I’d still be a rat. 

Logic didn’t matter then, nor did long term thinking and analysis that’d reveal that learning was any day more important than these frivolous, baseless rivalry. Yet, the logical bones were strong enough to override these happenings, and unfortunately, Sarat Chandra went for a toss. And so did waking up at 5.30 am. Eyeing through textbooks, completing project works would consume so much time and energy at night, that somedays I’d even forget having dinner, leading to waking up just an hour before school.

Not even a month, and here I was, so caught up in my daily hurdles that my resolutions quietly sneaked out of the window, leaving a heap of repentance back. Thing is, if I tried harder, I could perhaps have been successful, but clearly, I was too lazy to even try. And, not much has changed since. 

Now, when I try analysing my situation, I figure that it’s almost time to make a resolution again. Yet, this time I won’t fumble and say boldly that my New Year Resolution for 2021 is not to make another resolution...